Monster Assault


Price: $2.49
Found at: Kangaroo Gas Station
Key herbals: Ginseng, Taurine
Food in play: 2 Slices Mushroom Pizza; Subway BMT 6"
Circumstance: Attempt to curb midday fatigue

Taste: Woah, did someone decide it was finally time for Monster's flavor to stop sucking? Assault definitely still had the signature Monster taste but without all the bad. It was far from the best tasting energy drink I've had but also far from the worst. Fans of regular Monster might appreciate this improved formula. The only downside was that about halfway through the can an odd, slightly chalky texture became apparent. Wasn't enough to dissuade me, though. (3/5)

Effect: I could definitely distinguish the moment this started to kick - about 10 minutes in I suddenly became more alert and my focus was actually more tuned. Unfortunately it didn't last long - about an hour and a half. Seeing as I wasn't as weary as I usually am when consuming an energy drink, this could be circumstantial so I'm giving it the benefit of the doubt. Still though... only an hour and a half? Anyway... at least the previously experienced Monster Burps didn't rear their ugly head (as much). (2.5/5)

Skinny: Has Monster sacrificed its boost for flavor? If that's the case, make sure you reach for this one only if you need an hour or two. This doesn't seem to be all-nighter material. That said, I was impressed, considering this line's frequent letdowns.

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