Tweeting the Oh-10 Oscars (Transcription)

Going to try to cover the 'scars for fun. Hope I don't lose too many followers due to overtweetitude! Antonio Banderas' beard... intense...

Many of the stars look... uh... tired. Meryl Streep and Kate Winslet are gorgeous - no surprise there - but hey guys, try some "Crunk!!!"

I'm really going to have to restrain myself here... I could comment thrice a minute on the mostly bogus goings-on.

For some reason Robin Williams being seated next to Jennifer Lopez cracks me up.

Gotta love the camera attention Jeff "Bad" Bridges' beard is getting. Still can't shake the disingenuous feeling I get watching this show...

Sandra Bullock appears impatient and overdone while Steve Martin makes a subtle reference to "The Jerk" - nice!

Oh, wow - the one category I care about tonight is up first. I should have known... isn't it usually? Go, go Cristoph Waltz!

I'm digging the montage style videos they're doing. Also, why must I root AGAINST Christopher Plummer?

Ha... so they're showing the end of Inglourious Basterds for Waltz's clip.

Well, there we go. The rest of the night can go however it wants to - at least Waltz has his trophy.

This question must be on everyone's mind... Where's Nicholson!? Clooney was prime to become the new Jack but he seems sour tonight...

This just in: "Up!" wins Best Animated Picture and I still have ten fingers and ten toes.

It is very strange to see Hannah Montana towering over someone else...

As if Waltz winning wasn't cool enough... I got to ogle Colin Farrell for a moment or four. Cool to see Crazy Heart winning something.

So they show the end of District 9, too? What's up with the clips this year? Montages are neat but don't spoil the film...

Quite a hilarious bit from Tina Fey and Robert Downey Jr. Hurt Locker wins its first award.

Is it too obvious an observation that James Cameron is seated directly behind Kathryn Bigelow? Interesting. I guess. Perhaps not.

Apparently they couldn't get the rights to any of John Hughes' GREAT films and had to settle with clips from his merely OKAY ones.

I speak too soon - THERE'S my Breakfast Club :)

Uh... what just happened? Very odd acceptance speech(es) for Documentary: Short Subject...

Ben Stiller's Na'Vi (did I put the apostrophe in the right place?) was far funnier than it deserved to be.

Star Trek? Really? I don't know makeup like some do but Trek didn't impress me in the makeup department...

Thank Oprah for that one - Precious steals its first award from several deserving films.

H'oh boy - a Bringing Down The House reference. Jawn's gonna have something to say about that... nice opening quip from Martin, though!

I missed the Roger Corman thing... he got a standing ovation then... we moved on? Okay. Well, neat... I guess.

As expected, Mo'Nique walks away with Best Supporting Actress and the camera cuts to as many black audience members as possible.

Colin F----oh, Firth. Well, he's good, too :) He's just not my delicious Colin Farrell...

I should see "An Education" - looks goo--Salute to horror movies!? NICE! I was *just* saying how horror is inherently anti-Oscar. Woo!

How did I miss that Parnassus was nominated for something? Go, go!

Avatar wins its first trophy and I don't have much else to say about that.

I've lost 5 followers since starting this uninspired "coverage" of the Oscars! *chuckles to self*

I have actually not heard of Young Victoria but Sandy Powell is awesome so... hurray for her third Oscar.

Jason Voorhees at the Oscars! Never thought I'd see the day :) This is a fun montage. Well it was until they showed The Grudge.

The horror montage put a big smile on my face but it had a decent number of "Oh you've gotta be kidding me" moments.

The Hurt Locker snags another trophy - this time away from one that Star Trek deserved.

The guy accepting the Hurt Locker sound award is one of the mole people Robert Downey Jr. was talking about!

Hans Gruber's number two just accepted his second sound award for The Hurt Locker.

Technical difficulties or are they shaving stuff off since they're probably running long? Oh well... Avatar wins for cinematography.

I always learn of recent cinema-world deaths from the rememberance segment. Malden, Silver, Deluise...

"Up!" wins for score... bleh... I did not care for that movie and one of the major detractors was the generic score.

In the most obvious win of the night, Avatar wins for special effects.

It seems the Avatar section of the audience is like the jock section of the high school cafeteria.

The Cove is going to win Best Documentary... and... pause to confirm... Yep, The Cove.

The Hurt Locker walks away with Sally Menke's award after the stereotype-perpetuating Tyler Perry educates as to what editing is.

Can't help but chuckle that Sam Raimi got thanked at the Oscars. Wait, wait, shush - Keanu's up.

The Secret in Their Eyes wins the questionable Foreign Language category and the director's decent joke fails to win laughs.

A shout-out for Alec Baldwin's absolutely phenomenal performance in The Cooler!

Hey, there's my Colin! *swooooooon*

I hope Jeff Bridges wins... although Peter O'Toole should be winning for whatever the heck he did this year.

Yeah baby! Bridges truly earned it. wonder if Colin Farrell is torn between his two co-stars. What a great acceptance speech from Bridges :)

That reminds me... Michael Sheen should have been nominated for his stellar performance as Tony Blair. And yes, Mirren is a hottie.

It should be Mickey Rourke standing up there and Sean Penn knows it.

Is this a joke? Bullock? For a fluff piece like The Blind Side? Oh, you've gotta be kidding. "Did I really earn this?" ...blech.

About time she got off the stage. Yeah, I know I loved Bridges' speech and he was long-winded too, but... BULLOCK? Gimme a break.

I don't see Bigelow NOT winning this after they've made such a big deal about a woman winning the category. It would be awkward otherwise.

Sho'nuff and shined up, Kathryn Bigelow takes home the award for her shaky-cam driven Hurt Locker. Tarantino - don't retire yet!

I don't care about The Hurt Locker but I enjoyed Tom Hanks' no-nonsense delivery of the announcement.

Well, aside from the male acting categories, this year's Oscars were just another reason to TRY and convince myself not to watch next year.

Although I suppose it was nice that they didn't play anyone off this year. Phew... 5 hours of Oscar. I'm off to Bullock-infested nightmares.

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