Price: $5.99 (4-pack)
Found at: Publix
Key ingredients: Gingko Biloba, Ginseng, Vitamin C
Food in play: 2 slices deep-dish cheese pizza
Circumstance: Midday re-charge, playing with 9-month-old daughter

Taste: I'm no Coca-cola fanatic, but sometimes a Cherry Coke hits the spot. Remove the Coke factor and, well, that's-a-bingo. Based on flavor alone, I could see treating this like any regular soft drink. (4.5/5)

Effect: Believe it or not, I actually paced myself here. Since cold temperatures are crucial to flavor-related enjoyment, I typically chug these things. For Bing, I took my time in favor of bellyache avoidance. In retrospect this may not have been necessary, seeing as the cans are only 12 fl oz... but... well, anyway. After an initial buzz reminiscent of beer's and once my stomach stopped making noises like Gary from Spongebob if he aged 30 years, the bulk kick was brief and subtle. I was back to square one in 90 minutes. Nothing too special. (1.5/5)

Skinny: Extreme taste counter-balanced by weak effect. Ideal for those sensitive to and/or disgusted by the average energy drink.

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