9.18.2010

Venom: Black Mamba

3.5/5

Price: $1.15
Found at: Sweetbay
Key ingredients: Taurine, L-Carnitine, Glucuronolactone, Guarana
Food in play: 2 chicken wings
Circumstance: Halftime in an all-day action movie marathon that I woke up way too early for

Taste: I still see what I was getting at last year with Black Mamba's previous, less-than-favorable flavor review, but where yeah, this bottle may not have been the most pleasurable beverage experience of my life, it wasn't anything to complain about. It's smooth enough, fruity enough, and doggone it, I... I... well, I can't bring myself to say I "like" it, like I "like" "Ke$ha (Musician)", "Martin Moskowicz (Public Figure)" and "I hate it when I'm making a milkshake and boys just show up in my yard" on Facebook (Oh, and can't forget "Cheese" or, of course, "Crunk Energy Drink"), but it's passable. (2.5/5)

Effect: As if I'm not already subjective enough in these reviews, I'm going super-subjective here. Honestly, I didn't feel much of a "kick" or "boost" or anything, but hey, I was really tired - like, on the verge of taking at least a two-hour nap - and pretty much immediately after downing this baby I, well, wasn't. It did exactly what I wanted it to do and, as typically only the best of these drinks manage, it didn't give me a single undesirable side-effect. (4.5/5)

Skinny: I'll continue to be on the look-out for a flavor of Venom I prefer to Black Mamba, because the effect is groovy, and who can argue with that low price!? Also, check it out - that's now two Black Mamba reviews I've made it through without a single reference to or mention of Kill Bi--oh, damn.

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