As substantive as the opening cutscene to the war game you got for free with your XBox 360. Almost everything, from the amusement park sound editing to the 'cast of thousands' extras doing their damnedest to have a 'moment' before the camera passes, is an attempt to distract from the fact that the long-take gimmick does not serve the material. This isn’t even Mendes’ best movie about battle-adjacent soldiers. Letterboxd.
Adventure Time: Distant Lands - BMO (Miki Brewster)
This wealth of ideas and their particularly compelling backstory would have thrived in an episodic format like the several intra-series miniseries ("Elements", etcetera), but this achieves the trick of being a worthy if unnecessary continuation of the beloved "Adventure Time" while doing absolutely no damage to the series nor the utter perfection of its finale. Also, Stephen Root sounds like Jeff Bridges impersonating Albert Brooks. Letterboxd.
Against All Odds (Taylor Hackford)
Mileage will vary but Jeff Bridges’ glistening 8-pack in unzipped khakis is worth considering. Letterboxd.
Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) (Cathy Yan)
Best action sequence set to a Ram Jam cover since that animated Ninja Turtles movie from 2007. Letterboxd.
Black Bear (Lawrence Michael Levine)
Enjoyable until it’s evident it’s going nowhere, which is not cool just because it warns of its own meaninglessness.
Class Action Park (Seth Porges, Chris Charles Scott III)
White people. Letterboxd.
Dark Waters (Todd Haynes)
Teased me with organization porn and listened when I used the safeword (which, of course, was 'Harge'). An excellent argument in favor of exposition - I know, what? - despite several uses of coincidence as a shortcut. Funny number of Soderbergh hallmarks and unintentional references for a movie I sold to my family as, 'Brokovich without the boobs, Ed.' Letterboxd.
The Devil All the Time (Antonio Campos)
Gravelly Americana folktale of karmic coincidence and "The Night of the Hunter"-esque scripture manipulation. Leans hard on misery porn to the point of unintentional comedy, which would be reason to dismiss it if not for just how darn entertaining it is. Letterboxd.
Doctor Sleep (Mike Flanagan)
Finds itself in the odd position of being beholden to both King’s source material and Kubrick’s adaptation that deviates from it. While Flanagan deserves credit for entertaining by making procedural aspects feel significant despite skewing toward “X-Men” territory with the supernatural elements, the narrative still suffers as it does in King’s novel in that its villains are little more than a chore to tangle with and all its best ideas are left woefully unexplored in the first act. This is digestible, but the bookending and very separate-feeling connections to Kubrick’s masterpiece then create an uncanny valley where one might imagine tactful implication would have served far more effectively than wholesale imitation. Letterboxd.
Double World (Teddy Chan)
If you carry a sword so big you have to punt it into the air just to swing it, I’ll probably watch your movie. Letterboxd.
Education (Steve McQueen)
The "Small Axe" series' most engrossing narrative.
The Farewell (Lulu Wang)
Leaves me wanting greater subtlety in mood delivery as well as a longer running time to further explore the ensemble of variant, belonging characters who enjoy at least one brief moment of genuine intrigue a piece. What is here is still strong and honest enough to warrant a passing grade and a place on the radar for Lulu Wang. And yes, Awkwafina is now that much more a talent to keep watch for in the coming years. Letterboxd.
Fighting with My Family (Stephen Merchant)
Even more of an idealized commercial for contemporary WWE than regular WWE programming’s most syrupy self-promotion, which is quite a bar. Letterboxd.
Flashdance (Adrian Lyne)
There is an undoubtable charm to the slipshod assembly of this excuse to present evocative dance numbers, though ultimately those fleetingly winning numbers fail to buoy their half-present surroundings. I vote Soderbergh remake. Letterboxd.
A Hidden Life (Terrence Malick)
Though something of a shock to see Malick revert to the period piece after a modern world phase that may well have been his height, the real dip in a cold pool is just how simplistic Terry’s conceit is content to remain for its duration. Lubezki is missed. Letterboxd.
Home Alone (Chris Columbus)
Childhood is wanting to be like Kevin. Adulthood is realizing the best character is Uncle Frank. Letterboxd.
I'm Thinking of Ending Things (Charlie Kaufman)
Zemeckis' best work in decades. Letterboxd.
Inside Man: Most Wanted (M.J. Bassett)
I’ve always wanted to put zero heart into adapting the shell of a Spike Lee movie to see what Spike’s brilliance would look like if made to be rented exclusively from Walmart Redboxes. Now I don’t have to! Hilariously instead of gifting Kim Director a paycheck, Universal clearly put out a casting call for a 'Kim Director type.' Letterboxd.
The Invisible Man (Leigh Whannell)
Man, they greenlit that "Swallow" sequel fast. Letterboxd.
Jumanji: The Next Level (Jake Kasdan)
“Welcome to the Jungle” utilized a concept that felt like an excuse to validate lazy writing and budget computer effects. Though keeping with production value maybe two notches up from sitcom territory, “The Next Level” logically builds upon the formula in nearly every way for a much more rewarding experience. To be fair, 'Danny DeVito becomes The Rock' would work for any movie, and adding the incredibly winning Awkwafina to things hasn’t failed yet, so even without the surrounding improvements this would likely remain a good time. Just keep the volume button handy for the action sequences. Letterboxd.
Kajillionaire (Miranda July)
July by way of Solondz? I'm reaching.
The Karate Kid (John G. Avildsen)
Very pink in the middle, but the cooked bits still taste good. More fun when you imagine Sly as Rocky delivering Daniel's lines. Avildsen's gotta get them above-ground subways in there. Letterboxd.
The Last Detail (Hal Ashby)
Is there a better movie about simple things like giving someone extra onions for their hoagie, or deciding who gets which bed in a motel? Letterboxd.
Lovers Rock (Steve McQueen)
So very present, with celebratory catharsis crowning multiple standout sequences.
Ma Rainey's Black Bottom (George C. Wolfe)
Excellent performances in lieu of anything else on offer.
Mangrove (Steve McQueen)
Oddly reminded of Assayas’ “Après Mai” through the lackadaisical, redundant phases, but the majority of the courtroom drama is worthwhile.
Mank (David Fincher)
Fanboyish, but thoroughly so in ways that make me want to learn more about the studio system side of film history. Also in other ways that are eye-rolling, yet never as eye-rolling as in "Benjamin Button".
The Midnight Sky (George Clooney)
Thoroughly DOA, as if Clooney is idly pasting pale, disconnected memories of “Solaris” & “Gravity” with no further ideas to gel them. Letterboxd.
On the Rocks (Sofia Coppola)
More rigid than Coppola’s bests, but lulls with its guise of convention into a lightness akin to that which has highlighted each of those bests. Letterboxd.
Onward (Dan Scanlon)
Despite a concept admirably bold for its target audience, Onward's ideas wind up underdeveloped in favor of formula and hold back their own arcs from fully landing as a result. Letterboxd.
Power Rangers (Dean Israelite)
If your pre-kindergartener is like mine, they will make it through the two horrifying car crashes. They will make it through the "Breakfast Club" tribute sequence (if "Breakfast Club" had more revenge porn and was filmed by a Liebesman disciple). They will at the very least see Bryan Cranston's finest moment in full makeup as an alien named 'Zordon'. But they almost certainly won't have the patience to make it to the final 15 minutes of this 2-hour television episode when the unbelievably bland group of main characters fucking finally put on their suits and get in their robots to fight Elizabeth Banks at a Krispy Kreme. Letterboxd.
Ready Player One (Steven Spielberg)
Willy Wonka is fun because he is an enigmatic mystery whom we the audience get to discover along with the characters. The identically conceptualized catalyst character at the center of “Ready Player One” is already intimately known by their fellow characters, so the invitation to adventure fails as it’s an adventure we can only witness through copious exposition as opposed to embark upon ourselves. In the end, after all the vacuously curated ‘80s references and the wanton visual overload, I was given just enough to latch on to that I left wishing the whole had felt more inspired to itself embody what made those ‘80s properties so endearing - like what “Super 8” tried and also tripped on the way to accomplishing. Letterboxd.
Red, White, & Blue (Steve McQueen)
Feels minor but manages to resonate. Perfect ending.
Relic (Natalie Erika James)
Allegorical symbolism that works... until we start bashing grandma upside the head with a lead pipe.
Rogue (M.J. Bassett)
Harmless, even with the awful CGI. Bassett knows how to keep the energy flowing.
Soul (Pete Docter)
I’d like to think this will be cherished as opposed to forgotten despite the refined choice to not leap at 'all audiences' as much as Pixar’s icons have. I appreciate Docter arranging all his now familiar pins only to then go bowl in a different lane. Letterboxd.
Sylvie's Love (Eugene Ashe)
The conceit is charming enough but sadly the two hours of mostly over-the-shoulder conversation scenes move like molasses.
Underwater (William Eubank)
Bookended by well sustained action sequences then broken up by jarring scene transitions and ill-fitting comic relief (less humorous than every time someone’s ADR says “forget this” for the PG-13), the passionately designed tech fantasy of “Underwater” dips into real life biological mystery and succeeds where necessary to feel well worth its while despite being a thorough, unabashed “Alien” retread. Even with a thinly drawn character, Kristen Stewart and the space afforded to her by the camera - as well as taken by it - are so evocative one may be left wishing KStew had been the sole human character as she transitions from video game-armored force against environmental horror to vulnerable and introspective in the face of unimaginable monstrosities. I would absolutely watch an “Aliens” rip-off sequel. Letterboxd.
Waves (Trey Edward Shults)
I don’t do ratings but if I did I’d knock off half a star for that exhale sound effect at the end of the credits. Letterboxd.
Wendy (Benh Zeitlin)
Full of worthwhile inspiration realized at least on par with or perhaps even more beautifully than in “Beasts of the Southern Wild”, yet never completely comes together to evoke more than it might have as a condensed music video. Letterboxd.
The Wolf of Snow Hollow (Jim Cummings)
Manages its balance of being deliberately MST3K-able without being too over-the-top about it.
Wonder Woman 1984 (Patty Jenkins)
Trumpalorian amuses, but this half-baked attempt at ‘80s blockbuster charm feels more like a rejected “Ghostbusters” sequel concept missing its Bill Murray, and loaded with 'I can’t believe that made it past first draft' moments. Letterboxd.
The Wrong Missy (Tyler Spindel)
I wanted to joke that this is where all of Happy Madison's even worse ideas went before I remembered the other equally shameful Happy Madison movies I've been unfortunate enough to endure. Lapkus' obtrusive lack of discipline is so agonizingly puerile she tanks what microscopic semblance of sense wasn't already bailed out of the final product. Will a feature role ever truly capitalize on the sardonically self-deprecating stylings Spade brings to the table? After giving "The Wrong Missy" a chance I'm not encouraged to find out. Letterboxd.
You Should Have Left (David Koepp)
A title rendered hilarious when you sit through the whole thing then see it pop up on the screen at the end of the credits. Would have been about 50% more interesting if about 50% of the script had been slashed in favor of silence and fewer expository characters (lookin' at you, Mandy). As it stands it beats you over the head with concepts you've already gathered if you're even remotely familiar with Lovecraftian mystery, all while disobeying its own logic. There are a spare few nice touches of thematic foreshadowing and spacial confusion buried within, though. Did Koepp listen to "Tanis" before writing? Letterboxd.
